RANT#1: RELATIONSHIPS. COMITTMENT. LOVE.

People do not often know what they are looking when it comes to relationships. Most times…People in relationships are in them for all the wrong reasons.

Our insecurities drive us to places we don’t need to be. Places we feel our insecurities are safe because those places are better than the place we’re in when we’re alone.
We have all envisioned of the perfect situation with the right person, and once we get that….some of us turn around full circle and question it and act as if we are not satisfied.

There are two themes that always emerge in human behaviour

There are those that find it hard to let go, and hold on as long as possible.
Then there those of us who do not want to get into too deep, and tend shy away from serious relationships.
Some of us hang around for the comfort of having someone to be with. The fear of being alone tends to have people holding onto things they really should be letting go.

The amount time that we invest in the relationships is also something we consider that keeps us right where we are, simply because most of us believe the old time saying:

“Love isn’t easy to come by, you have to work for it.”

When do you know when it’s enough? Should you always fight for a dying love? Things either grow stronger or they get weak and die. Sometimes it’s okay to let go.

We tend to question the worth of the relationship…whether this person the right person?

 Will we ever be satisfied with what we have or are we content?

 Are we just waiting for the next best thing to come along?

Sometimes a relationship just isn’t the place we want/need to be so we just up and leave…

Truth is when it comes to emotions we are selfish people.

In the process of getting to know each other we have habits of trying to find all the flaws to the situation we are dealing with. We subconsciously look for and identify negative traits/ pet peeves in the person so if given a reason to walk away we have one.

These subconscious thoughts we have sometimes elude us, we give in into our lustful and most natural behaviours. This type of tunnel of vision behaviour has us contemplating and ignoring some opportunities that may be right in front of us and we miss out on them, because we are so focused on the dream.

For those of us who are afraid to commit or who place our standards on the highest esteem (we’re allowed to do this; I believe one should never settle.) We cannot forget that we are from perfect ourselves, and what we want may not always want us. We all hold ourselves to the highest esteem, and when that glass shattered, our confidence and motivation suffers as well.

We retreat into solitude and build a wall higher than the one that was up before. One that’s more solid and hard to conquer, eventually we forget what it was for, and why it was up and we become afraid to see what is on the other side, afraid to take chances.

I am not saying that love and relationships are bad. The fact is they are complicated. Love is ability, something inherent. It’s not something we choose to do. It just happens. When relationships are good they are good, we all deserve a chance to be loved, but do we ever give people the opportunity to love us?

Maybe relationships are about challenging each other to grow. Someone that care so much that they will do whatever they must to support you and know when to push and when to pull.
Some of are capable of receiving love and giving it back, and some of us just don’t know how to handle love.

Relationships do not define love & love does not define a relationship.
Sometimes love is about learning to cope with each other’s bullshit. Knowing the flaws in each other and being able to say that’s what I like about you.

Instead of looking for the flaws why we don’t just ride the wave and see where it takes us.
Why has the process of getting into relationship become an evaluation of each other?

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